Advice
For The New Year
Always
do right. This will gratify some people
and astonish the rest....Mark Twain
and astonish the rest....Mark Twain
Always
keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them.
just in case you have to eat them.
Be like a postage stamp -
stick to one thing until you get there.
Be
true to your teeth, or they'll be false to you.
Be wary of strong drink.
It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
Before
you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too.
That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too.
Cooking
lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.
Drive
carefully.
It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse
will happen to you for the rest of the day.
Eat
your spinach and you'll grow up big and strong like Popeye.
You'll also end up with a girlfriend that looks like Olive Oyl.
You'll also end up with a girlfriend that looks like Olive Oyl.
Growl
all day and you'll be dog tired at night.
If
at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
If
you and your friend are being chased by a grizzly bear,
don't worry about out-running the bear,
just worry about out-running your friend.
don't worry about out-running the bear,
just worry about out-running your friend.
If
you lend someone $20, and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.
it was probably worth it.
If
you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.
try missing a couple of car payments.
If you think your wife's jewelry is an investment,
try selling a few pieces.
It
is better to keep your mouth shut,
and look like a fool, than to open your mouth,
and remove all doubt.
and look like a fool, than to open your mouth,
and remove all doubt.
It's
nice to be important,
but more important to be nice.
but more important to be nice.
It's
always darkest before dawn. a
So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it
So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it
Take
the time to be right.
It's faster than being wrong.
It's faster than being wrong.
The
easiest way to find something lost around
the house is to buy a replacement
the house is to buy a replacement
Work
like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody is looking.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody is looking.
Source: Mamarocks.com
