Old Speeders

An elderly couple were driving across the country.
The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the
highway patrol. The officer said,
"Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"

The woman turns to her husband and asks,
"What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!"

The patrolman said, "May I see your license?"

The woman turned to her husband and asked,
"What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman gave him her license.

The patrolman said, "I see you are from Arkansas.
I spent some time there once and went on a blind date
with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."

The woman turned to her husband and asked,
"What did he say?"

The old man yelled, "He thinks he knows you!"

Source: Internet

Test for Dementia

Below are four (4) questions You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are.

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer: If you answered that you are first,

then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up in the next question.

To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last,

then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this! Are you?

Third Question:

Very tricky math!

Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20.

Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for answer.

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters:

1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.

What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answer: Nunu?

NO! Of course not.

Her name is Mary. Read the question again

Hmmm! didn't do very well did you??

A Comforting Thought

There's a comforting thought
At the close of the day,
When I'm weary and lonely and sad,
That sort of grips hold of my crusty old heart
And bids it be merry and glad.

It gets in my soul and drives out the blues,
And finally thrills through and through.
It is just a sweet memory that chants the refrain,
"I'm glad for good friends like you!"

God chooses our relatives.

We choose our friends.

I'm thankful I chose you!

Source: Internet