Thursday, May 21, 2015

Signs That Your Getting Older

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

You are proud of your lawn mower.

You send money to PBS.

You no longer think speed limits are a challenge.

You wear black socks with sandals.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

You can go bowling without drinking.

You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

Your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

You know what the word "equity" means.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

You can sing along with elevator music.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch tv.

You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"


Aging Tips

Forget the health food.
You need all the preservatives you can get.

God grant me the senility to forget
the people I never liked anyway...

The good fortune to run into the ones I do...
And the eyesight to tell the difference!

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, doesn't matter.

I am sitting here thinking how nice it is
that wrinkles don't hurt.

If I knew I was going to get this old,
I would have taken better care of myself when I was young.

If you laugh a lot, when you get older
your wrinkles will be in the right places.


A Little Advice

A Little Advice
1. If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.
2. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.
3. Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
4. The best vitamin for making friends....B1.
5. The 10 commandments are not multiple choices.
6. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
7. Minds are like parachutes...they function only when open.
8. Ideas won't work unless YOU do.
9. One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
10. One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.
11. The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.
12. Don't learn safety rules by accident.
13. We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.
14. Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.
15. A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out.
16. One thing you can give and still keep your word.
17. A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.
18. The pursuit of happiness is: the chase of a lifetime!


Friday, May 1, 2015

Today I Smiled

Today I smiled, and all at once
Things didn't look so bad.
Today I shared with someone else,
A little bit of hope I had.

Today I worked with what I had,
And longed for nothing more,
And what had seemed like only weeds,
Were flowers at my door.

Today I loved a little more,
And complained a little less.
And in the giving of myself,
I forgot my weariness.
~ author unknown ~