You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
You send money to PBS.
You no longer think speed limits are a challenge.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You can go bowling without drinking.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws.
You got cable for the weather channel.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
You know what the word "equity" means.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You can sing along with elevator music.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch tv.
You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"